


Revelation

by flootzavut



Series: Lie to NCIS [55]
Category: Lie to Me (TV), NCIS
Genre: Awesome Foursome, Crossover, F/F, Feelings Realisation, GxK, Kate Lives, Kibbs, Lie to NCIS, Unresolved Romantic Tension, Unresolved Sexual Tension, foursomeverse, queer
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-04
Updated: 2018-03-04
Packaged: 2019-03-27 02:48:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,772
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13871484
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/flootzavut/pseuds/flootzavut
Summary: Going out shopping with Gillian was supposed to be a fun afternoon; Kate didn't expect to get ambushed.Crib notes for the fandom blindhere.





	Revelation

**Author's Note:**

> This story directly or indirectly references Baked and Puppy, and will probably work better if you've read those stories ;)
> 
> I imagine regular readers are sick to the back teeth of my crib notes, so I'll just reiterate that they're available [here](http://archiveofourown.org/series/334084).

* * *

_**Revelation** _

* * *

  

No matter how adorable it was when they dragged the boys along on their shopping trip and Cal fell asleep on Gibbs' shoulder, or how funny it was when he woke up and panicked, shopping is more fun and much more efficient when they leave the guys behind. Judging by how Cal looked when Kate picked Gill up (taking the afternoon since they closed their case), he's as grateful for the reprieve as Gibbs was, which was a lot.

(Of course, Cal is also still recovering from having drooled all over her and Gibbs when he got high; it's hard to say for sure whether it was relief over being let off shopping duties, or Cal willing the floor to open up and swallow him. He couldn't seem to take his eyes off of his ridiculous bunny-rabbit slippers, so admittedly, Kate's mostly speculating.)

This time around, they've actually bought stuff. Neither of them has found a formal dress suitable for work functions, which was the stated aim of the trip, but most of the point, as far as Kate's concerned, is to spend some quality time with Gillian, and that's been a complete success. Shopping with a girlfriend is something Kate doesn't indulge in often enough, and it's been good to get out.

It's also easier not to accidentally forget herself when they're in public. Gillian doesn't get any less kind or funny or attractive, but Kate is fairly circumspect even with Gibbs when they're out, so she's used to saving displays of affection for more private moments. Wrapping an arm around Gill's shoulders or waist, grabbing her by the hand for a moment, those things aren't going to land either of them in hot water. Kate sometimes does that even with Abby, so it feels... safe. Safe enough. And in this setting, she's that much less likely to forget herself and kiss Gillian right on her pretty mouth. It makes it much easier to pretend she's not still finding the transition back to friendship incredibly and increasingly hard. She thought it would get easier once they'd reclaimed their friendship, but recently it seems to get more difficult by the day.

This is both fun and more or less danger free, and those are two things Kate badly needs right now. She's more nervous about the movie night they have planned for Saturday, though that'll be all four of them; it's a lot easier to ignore the temptation of Gillian when she has Gibbs there being all... Gibbs.  _Mmmm_.

Of course, not even a federal agent can shop all afternoon without some sustenance. "I need a cup of coffee," she says with a groan.

Gillian huffs at a piece of hair which has escaped her ponytail and is hanging over her nose. "And I need cake."

They both laugh. Kate's need for coffee might not be quite as legendary as Gibbs', but Gillian's addiction to anything sweet might actually rival Gibbs' caffeine habit.

Fortunately, their favourite shopping pit-stop does both, and even has tables where they can sit outside and enjoy the sun. Gillian's still trying to get Kate hooked on cake - Kate's sure Gillian's metabolism runs differently than normal people, to eat the amount of sugar she does and stay so slender. Cal claims it's why she's got such a sweet personality, and Kate honestly hasn't come up with a more convincing explanation.

"I'm fine with coffee, really."

"Oh come on, have a bite, it's delicious." Gillian waves the fork insistently in front of Kate's mouth, and Kate rolls her eyes affectionately but gives in, then makes an appreciative noise.

Okay, Gillian wasn't wrong, that is incredible cake.

Gillian smiles at her indulgently, and takes another bite herself. Their gazes lock for a moment, then Kate looks away. It's perfectly innocent, it's just a mouthful of cake, but staring into each other's eyes and moaning is a little too suggestive when it comes to Gillian. If things were different, Kate would happily suggest they order a couple more slices to go so they can take it back home and take turns slowly eating fudge icing off of one another's skin, and the very fact she even  _had_  that thought is why she tries to avoid stuff like this happening in the first place.

(Gibbs would be more than happy to use her body as a plate, which also sounds like a fun way to spend a few hours, but he's not big on cake. Maybe if she poured bourbon all over herself?)

Thinking about Gibbs reminds her of one of the significant moments of the last seven and a half years - one of many times when she was so sure they'd turned a corner only to have nothing change - that took place in this very café.

"You know," she says, "Gibbs showed up here one time when I was trying to get a coffee, interrupted me flirting with a cute guy in the queue, pressed his own brand of black tar on me and interrogated me about Ari."

Gillian laughs. "Somehow, that doesn't surprise me at all."

"I think - I know it sounds weird, but I remember feeling like he was trying to flirt with me at the same time." Kate smiles goofily at the memory; even with the whole Ari debacle overshadowing it, it's a good one.

"Actually, you know, with anyone else, that would be very weird, but with Jethro? It makes perfect sense." Gillian thinks for a moment. "Ari was your pet terrorist, right?"

Kate pulls a face. "I don't know if I'd describe him quite that way, but yeah, he was the one who kept coming back."

Gillian nods. "Then Gibbs was definitely flirting. If I know Jethro at all, there's no way he'd talk with you about a rival without staking his own claim, even if he wasn't sure what he was doing or why."

"A  _rival_?" Kate can't help it - she takes umbrage at the very idea.

"I don't mean consciously, Kate. I know Ari was a terrorist, he wasn't anyone you'd think of that way, but a man who held you hostage? Young, good-looking, charismatic? Someone Jethro knew you'd missed a chance to kill or injure?" She shakes her head. "I'm more surprised he didn't crack immediately. He was probably terrified he was going to lose you. Either to violence or to another guy."

Kate blinks. She's never really thought about it that way, but - "He was a bit... intense over the Ari thing."

Gillian grins, and takes a large bite of her cake, like her point is proven.

Kate can't help laughing - Gillian's cute when she's smug. "Okay, so you might be right." She thinks back. "I remember not being sure if he was mad at me or if he was deciding whether to kiss me."

Gillian swallows her mouthful and wipes her lips delicately with her napkin before she speaks again. "Both. If I had to guess - both."

"If I'd known how long it was going to take for him to do something about it, I would have kissed him right there."

"Damn fool should've kissed you."

Kate sighs. "Maybe it's just as well. According to Abby, when they realised Ari had me, Gibbs was a bit-"

"Frantic? Desperate? Beside himself?"

Kate flushes hot. "Well, he was worried."

Gillian grins. "I'm only surprised he didn't kiss you when they got you back. I wonder if it was all just a little too close to the bone."

Kate shrugs. "Ari was... he was a real thorn in our sides. In Gibbs' side. For some reason, he really got under Gibbs' skin."

"I think we just established the reason for that was jealousy."

Kate's not quite ready to make that assumption, but she doesn't have a better explanation for some of Gibbs' more extreme behaviour. "I think... I think it was also that Ari had so much trust placed in him, when he was so untrustworthy. And Gibbs saw that before anyone else." She laughs humourlessly, shudders. "Ari had me fooled."

Gillian takes another bite of cake and waits patiently.

"Okay, so he was a bit good-looking, and he did seem to have a thing for me. And he had-" her cheeks flame again as if she's right back here with that intense blue gaze boring into her "-or at least I thought he had kind eyes," she finishes ruefully.

"Thought?"

"Well, he blew out Gerald's shoulder, which was an alarm bell," she admits wryly. "But for a second... for a second I thought he looked kind. I almost killed him, but I just... Then the next time I saw him, he kidnapped me, held me hostage for an entire afternoon, and shot a woman in the head right in front of me." She winces at the memory. "Didn't seem so kind after that, even though it turned out the FBI and a bunch of other agencies thought he was God's gift to US intelligence."

"How did he get them so convinced?"

"I think-" she sighs "-honestly, I think mostly it was because they wanted to believe in him. He was the perfect mole in Hamas, he was their ticket to inside information about Al Qaeda... they so badly wanted it all to work. And Ari was smooth-talking and convincing, and as it turned out, also the son of a deputy director of Mossad."

"Huh."

"And his father... ugh. Treated his children like... like chess pieces, to be used and abused as he saw fit, and then was surprised that one of them turned against him." Kate shudders. "Nothing excuses what Ari did or what he tried to do, but God, his father? He's a piece of work."

Gillian reaches a hand across the table to take Kate's. "I'm sorry, Katie."

Kate manages a smile. That nickname feels wrong coming from most people besides Gibbs, but Gillian isn't most people. She's... she's Gillian, and from her it's like a hug. "No, don't be. I'm the one who brought it all up, and I can't blame you for being curious about the details. It was all... it was a huge mess."

Gillian squeezes her hand sympathetically. "Some cases haunt you."

"Mmhm."

Gillian squeezes again, then leans back in her chair, her hold loosening. Part of Kate wants to grab on, not to let Gillian go, but she doesn't have the right... even if something about Gillian's expression makes her think Gillian would let her.

They sit for a few minutes in silence, and for all Gillian's kindness, Kate wishes she'd never brought the subject up.  _Way to go, Kate, spoiling a perfect afternoon_. Trust Ari to make things go wrong even now.

"Tell you what'll make you feel better," Gillian says eventually. She scoops up another forkful of cake and waves it about temptingly in front of Kate's mouth. (Kate can only imagine Gillian would've been like this with her kids, if she'd been able to have any.) "More chocolate."

Kate can't help giggling in response. Gillian always seems to know what to do or say. "You'll get me fat."

"Don't be ridiculous, Kate, I'd have to feed you fifteen whole cakes before you even stopped being slim. What's the point in being fit and healthy if you don't sometimes put your metabolism to the test?" She says it with such warmth and humour. Kate wishes she'd had a Gillian in her life when she was in her teens and twenties; she's so glad she has Gillian now. It was terrifying when they thought - God, no, she still can't think about it.

At least now she has an excuse to grab Gillian's hand again, to guide the cake to her mouth and lick the fork clean. It is  _really_  good cake. It would go against all her self-discipline to order herself a slice, but stealing some seems pleasantly decadent, and it does make her feel better, to her surprise. Or maybe that's just the way Gillian is looking at her and looking after her.

She swallows the mouthful and grins. "You're the best. God, I love you-" She realises what she just said, and suddenly feels sick and shaky. She's probably white as a sheet. "I mean- that came out-" It came out exactly right. and that's why she's floundering.  _Shit shit shit_. The truth of it thuds into her like a lead weight. How did this happen? It doesn't change how she feels about Gibbs, but there's no denying it. She loves Gillian - she's in love with Gillian. Which is very inconvenient. "Um."

Gillian is looking at her with a painfully understanding expression on her face, like she's not surprised, just sad that Kate has realised.

Kate turns away - has to - or she'll say something she's bound to regret, one way or another. She can't dissemble or hide, can't do anything but sit here and desperately grasp for words she doesn't have. Why couldn't she have realised this when she was on her own, when she didn't have a human lie detector (who, hello, is also the woman she's so inconveniently in love with) watching her and seeing all the things she wants to hide?

Or more accurately, the things she needs to hide. In a universe where she wasn't in a happy relationship with Gibbs, or where it was okay to love more than one person, she would be jumping up and shouting it from the rooftops. Okay, maybe not, because revelations of the last few months notwithstanding, she's still a semi-repressed, mostly lapsed Catholic with a prudish streak. It's not like she'd go yelling about her love life even if it was just Gibbs and they were safely and respectably married, but if things were different, at least she'd be able to admit it to Gillian without feeling like the proverbial rabbit in headlights.

When the hell did her life get so complicated?

Gillian still hasn't said anything, is still just looking at her with so much calm and understanding, and such pretty eyes she's got, pretty and loving and perceptive. Kate is suddenly, brutally aware that nothing is ever going to stop her finding Gillian wildly attractive, that as well as being a good and caring friend, she's gorgeous and sexy, and a generous and skilled lover who can leave Kate melting with a raised eyebrow and a knowing glance. That she's fun and has a great sense of humour. That Kate would happily fall asleep in her arms on a regular basis and share breakfast with her and make out with her as they pretended to watch bad movies, slow dance with her in the living room just because. That she can easily imagine reading her favourite books aloud with Gillian's head cradled in her lap. That Gillian is the kind of person Kate would like to keep deeply enmeshed in her life forever.

It's all so romantic and so tempting and so not what this was ever, ever supposed to be about.

She forces herself to look away again, blinking rapidly against the tears she knows are gathering in her eyes. "I, uh," she says, and her voice is shaky and high pitched. She has no idea what to do one minute, and the next she's pushing up from her seat. "I should go."

"Kate-"

She can see out the corner of her eye how Gillian's calm, understanding expression has dissolved into confusion, but she doesn't let herself notice, never mind look, and then she's striding away from the table with a confidence and purpose she doesn't remotely feel. Despite herself, she can't block out Gillian calling her name, but she doesn't look back, just bows her head and walks faster.

She can't let Gillian see how she's crying, how her heart is breaking. She has to get a hold of herself, let herself grieve for what can't be, remind herself to be grateful for what is.

What she has with Gibbs, she wouldn't give it up for the world. No matter how important she belatedly realises her relationship with Gillian was (how did she ever manage to convince herself it was just physical? She's an idiot), Gibbs is it for her. She'd give up a lot to be with Gillian... but not him, no matter how much the decision hurts.

She has to figure out how to be just friends with one of the people she's in love with, that much is clear. And until she's come to terms with that reality, she needs to go home and wrap herself up in Gibbs and have a little cry for her stupid emotions and her stupid heart.

_~ fin ~_


End file.
